Forgiveness (Part 2)

On part 1 of this series, we explained some of the principles of forgiveness. On this episode we will unload biblical truth and build in to the only type of forgiveness that matters.

Forgiveness is the act of forgiving an offender. In Scriptures, the word “forgiveness” literally means “letting go”, as when a person does not demand payment of a debt. Yeshua used this comparison when he taught his followers to pray:

 

“And forgive us of our sins, for we also forgive anyone who owes us, and do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from evil.”

Luke 11: 4

 

Likewise, in his parable of the unmerciful servant, Yeshua compared forgiveness with the cancellation of a debt. As recorded in the book of Matthew 18:23-35.

 

“That is why the kingdom of heaven can be compared to a certain king who wanted to make accounts with his servants;

And, beginning to do the math, he was presented with one that owed him ten thousand talents;

And when he had nothing to pay, his master ordered that he, and his wife and children be sold, with everything he had, so that the debt would be paid off.

Then that servant, prostrating himself, revered him, saying, Lord, be generous to me, and I will pay you all.

Then the Lord of that servant, moved with compassion, released him and forgave him the debt.

But when that servant went out, he found one of his servants, who owed him a hundred bucks, and, using his hand, smothered him, saying: Pay me what you owe me.

Then his companion, prostrating himself at his feet, begged him, saying: Be generous to me, and I will pay you all.

However, he did not want to, but went to lock him up in prison, until he paid the debt.

So when his fellow servants saw what was happening, they were very upset, and went to declare to their master everything that had happened.

Then his master, calling him to him, said to him, “Evil servant, I have forgiven you all that debt, because you have begged me.”

Shouldn’t you, too, have compassion on your partner, as I also had mercy on you?

And, indignantly, his master handed him over to the tormentors, until he paid everything he owed him.

So will my heavenly Father also do to you, if you do not forgive each of your brother from his heart for his offenses. ”

Matthew 18: 23-35

 

We forgive others when we put aside resentment and give up any compensation for the pain or loss we suffer. The Bible teaches that selfless love is the basis of true forgiveness, since love “does not take damage into account”. – 1 Corinthians 13: 4,5.

 

“Love is suffering, it is benign; love is not envious; love does not treat lightly, it does not puff up.

Do not behave indecently, do not pursue your interests, do not be irritated, do not suspect evil; ”

1 Corinthians 13: 4,5

What forgiveness does not mean

 

Accept the offense.

Scriptures condemns those who claim that bad actions are acceptable or harmless. The prophet Isaiah wrote:

 

“Woe to those who call evil good and good evil; who make darkness light, and light darkness; and make bitter sweet, and bitter sweet! ”

Isaiah 5:20

 

Pretend the offense never happened.

Sin has consequences. The Lord forgave David for serious sins, but He did not protect David from the consequences of his actions. This is recorded in the second book of Samuel so that we can be reminded today that offenses have consequences.

 

“Why, then, did you despise the word of the Lord, doing evil before his eyes? Uriah the Hittite you smote with the sword, and his wife you took for your wife; and you killed him with the sword of the children of Ammon.

Now therefore, the sword will never depart from your house, because you have despised me, and have taken the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be your wife.

Thus says the Lord: Behold, I will stir up evil out of you from your own house, and I will take your women before your eyes, and I will give them to your neighbor, who will lie down with your women in this sun.

Because you did it in secret, but I will do this business before all Israel and before the sun.

Then David said to Nathan, I have sinned against the Lord. And Nathan said to David, The Lord also forgave your sin; you will not die. ”

2 Samuel 12: 9-13

 

Allow others to take advantage of you.

Someone asked and borrowed money from you and for whatever reason cannot pay it back as they promised. He expresses his sorrow and and apologizes to you. You can choose to forgive him by not harboring resentment, not reviewing the matter with him continually, and perhaps even canceling the debt entirely. However, you can also decide not to lend him more money. The books of Psalms, Proverbs and Galatians instruct us as follows:

 

“The wicked borrows, and does not pay; but the righteous have compassion and give. ”

Psalm 37:21

 

“The simple gives credit to every word, but the prudent one attends to his steps.”

Proverbs 14:15

 

“The prudent predicts evil, and hides; but the simple ones pass and end up paying. ”

Proverbs 22: 3

 

“Do not be wrong: God is not mocked; because whatever a man sows, it will also reap. ”

Galatians 6: 7

 

The foundation of forgiveness must be valid.

Adonai does not forgive people who are guilty of intentional and malicious sin and who refuse to acknowledge their mistakes, change their ways and apologize to those they hurt

 

“Whoever covers up their transgressions will never prosper, but whoever confesses and leaves them will attain mercy.”

Proverbs 28:13

 

“I first announced to those in Damascus and Jerusalem, and throughout the land of Judea, and to the Gentiles, that they should amend themselves and be converted to God, doing works worthy of repentance.”

Acts 26:20

 

“Because if we sin voluntarily, after we have received the knowledge of the truth, there is no more sacrifice for sins,”

Hebrews 10:26

 

These unrepentant ones become enemies of HaShem, and He does not demand that we forgive those whom he has not forgiven. The Psalmist tells us:

 

“Do I not hate those who hate you, O Lord, and do I not grieve for those who rise up against you?

I hate them with perfect hatred; I have them for enemies. ”

Psalm 139: 21,22

 

What if you are the victim of cruel mistreatment by someone who refuses to apologize or even admit what you did? The Bible advises:

 

“Leave the anger, and abandon the fury; do not be indignant in any way to do evil. ”

Psalm 37: 8

 

While you don’t condone the error, you can choose to refuse to be consumed by anger. Trust that God will hold the offender accountable.

 

“Because we know well the one who said: Vengeance is mine, I will give the reward, says the Lord. And again: The Lord will judge his people.

It is a terrible thing to fall into the hands of the living God.”

Hebrews 10:30,31

 

You can also take comfort in knowing that God will bring us a time when we will no longer feel the deep pain or hurt that overwhelms at this moment. As it is written in Isaiah 65:17 and Revelation 21: 4, that says:

 

“Because, behold, I create new heavens and a new earth; and there will be no more recollection of past things, nor will they be remembered.”

Isaiah 65:17

 

“And God will wipe every tear from their eyes; and there will be no more death, nor weeping, nor outcry, nor pain; because the first things are already passed.”

Revelation 21: 4

 

Look in the mirror.

Sometimes, instead of forgiving an alleged offender, we may need to admit that we had no valid reason for being offended. Scriptures put it this way:

“Do not be offended quickly, because offense is the mark of a fool.”
Ecclesiastes 7: 9

 

How to forgive someone

Remember what forgiveness involves. You are not tolerating wrong or acting as if it never happened – you are simply choosing to let it go.

Recognizing the benefits of forgiveness means letting go of anger and resentment. This will help you stay calm, improve your health and increase your happiness. As recorded in the book of Proverbs 14:30 and Matthew 5: 9, which says:

 

“Healthy feeling is life for the body, but envy is rot for the bones.”

Proverbs 14:30

 

“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God;”

Matthew 5: 9

 

Even more important is this: Forgiving others is the key to receiving God’s forgiveness for your own sins. Just as written in Matthew 6:14,15.

 

“For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you;

If, however, you do not forgive men for their offenses, your Father also will not forgive your offenses.”

Matthew 6: 14,15

Walk in someone else’s shoes.

We are all imperfect. Just as we appreciate forgiveness, we must also forgive others’ mistakes. 

 

“Because we all stumble in many things. If someone does not stumble in word, he is perfect, and powerful to also restrain the whole body.”

James 3: 2

 

“Therefore, whatever you want men to do to you, do it also to yourselves, because this is the law and the prophets.”

Matthew 7:12

 

The golden rule of reasonable people.

Minor complaints should be tolerated as we are meant to provide support for one another. The best advice related to this can be found in Colossians 3:13.

 

Supporting one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; just as YESHUA forgave you, so do you also.

Colossians 3:13

 

Take Quick Action.

Forgive the offense quickly, instead of letting your anger build as instructed in Ephesians.

 

Be angry, and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger.

Give no place to the devil.

Ephesians 4: 26,27

 

Shalom!

Rabbi Douglas